Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, the little old lady hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old) but very delicately asks what brand would she prefer.
"Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel............"
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